What really stirs my liver

   First of all, I want to say that it has been a bajillion days (minus a few jillion) since I have posted on my poor blog. I am sure all 3 of you out there have been waiting on baited breath for my next brain spill, so here it is!!!

So judging by my blog title, you may be asking yourselves, "Stirs my liver" what is she blabbing about now?
Well there is (and always is) a story behind that little saying.
   It was invented by a friend of mine in high school. She was gorgeous and fit and toned as a brick. However, while being incredibly smart in school, she would say some things that got me scratching my head a few times...she would mix up her thoughts and funny stuff was constantly coming out of her mouth, but not on purpose...lol  One day she seemed very agitated about something I have now long forgotten and she ended her vent with, "Man that really stirs my liver" Being the concerned and thoughtful friend I was (lol) I held back my giggles and kept the concern face on until enough time had passed when I could tell her it was funny without making her feel bad. So...this blog is dedicated to my friend, who despite all the wonderful blessings we have in life, there will still be those little things that "Stirs our liver" and here are some of mine. In list form, of course!

1. "Yeah buddy". I hate this phrase...but what I hate even more,  is when people say it in that annoying voice that EVERYone says it. (You know you just said it like that in your head right now LOL)

2. When someone tells you that they are sooooooooo x10000000000 excited/bummed about something and then proceed with, but I can't tell you about it...Sad face. Well then don't tell me to begin with!

3. When I have a dream (and the dream could be about any random thing) with someone who is merely an aquaintance of mine. It weirds me out about anytime I have another real life interaction with them, and they can't help it because it was just their dream form that I had coffee with or got into argument over something.

4. Yogurt lids. Can you ever really peel them off without getting gooey Chobani all over your fingers? Oh, you can? well, not this girl with fleshy hot dog fingers.

5. "Jesus is my boyfriend" Christian songs. You know the ones...They are love songs, but could easliy be played on any hit radio station, just by replacing "Jesus" with the name of your latest flame. No, those lyrics do not really speak to me in a Christian sense and if you want to be famous for your musical gift, please choose a genre that works for you. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I think some people use the Christian music genre to get their song out. I could be wrong, but it just seems too watered down for me.

6. Since I am on the subject of Christianity...I really don't like it when people think that Christians have to be "Perfect" Like we have to walk around all the time with big smiles on our faces and never mess up. I know that Christians are to live their lives as an example and to shine a bright light, but I will NEVER on this earth be even close to perfect, ever. I feel like I fail a lot more than I can publicy admit, and thankfully God still loves me! I feel every emotion that everyone else feels...including anger, sadness, fear, frustration (obviously) and many other unpretty feelings. The difference is though, that I don't have to face all of those things alone and if I'm smart I will rely on God to help me through those ugly moments. That being said, if I do mess up big enough, God will let me know! And you know what? I'm a much better person for it.

7. When it is -64 degrees out and you go to open your car handle on the door and it breaks OFF because of the artic temperatures...and then you don't save your money wisely and you keep forgetting that your car door handle is broken until you have your hands full of stuff and try to open it with your pinky.

8. Oh yeah #8 is going to be dedicated to any kind of car problems, accidents, or stupid car inconveniences in general....lol The only thing I really care about where a car is concerned, is that it isn't falling apart, looks decent and that it gets me comfortably from A to B.

9. Ending a list on an odd number. But hey, it's getting late and I gotta get up early, so I will have to deal with a little of my own liver stirring tonight!

Thanks for reading :) Life is really a wonderful thing most days, but we will never be free of the little inconveniences that pop up now and then...but if we didn't have them, what on earth would I be able to blog about on a late Sunday evening?! I'd say we have found that silver lining, don't ya think? ;)

Tiffany

The Good, the Bad, and the Portly.

   On my facebook page, I asked if my friends could come up with some good blog prompts for me to rant about and one of them was about my weight loss journey and wanting an update. It has been a couple months since I declared bankruptcy on my fat and I thought I should let you know what's a shakin' lately(or not shaking as much anymore...lol)
  Well, there is good news and then there is great news. The great news is that I AM losing weight. The good news is that it's only been about 15 pounds so far. I dare not say that losing ANY amount of weight could ever be a bad thing for me, however, I am just gonna lukewarmly celebrate my little loss for now. Why? because I need to push myself a bit more. I am becoming more aware of my bad habits and that is a very valuable tool, because then I can make sure that I don't sabotage myself by repeating those same habits.
   Here's an example of one of my bad funks: During the day, I am the perfect example of what healthy eating and good choices are. I am super picky about what I eat and drink. I push the water, I eat the protein, I nosh on the veggies. I drink the tea. All. Day. Long. THEN-------> I come home. And as I am driving home, I pass all the tempting and yummy restaurants, bakeries, and stores. My eyes get big and little evil thoughts sneak their way into my good graces. "Oh, I could stop and get a cookie, I have been good all day! I deserve it." Says one of the munchie monsters. I don't always listen, but let's be honest here, sometimes I do. Then, I try to figure out what I can fix for one person that is a sensible and budgeted meal. So, that can also push me more towards the neon signs that lure me in with their convenient food. I tell myself that it's all good because even though there are horrible awful things on most of the menus, there are still some sensible fare to choose from as well. I love to bake, but I capital H-A-T-E to cook for only me. It's a waste, it's no fun, and I don't like it, so there. If I am able to block out the evil tempting thoughts for the evening, I am still in trouble when I go babysit at night. Sunday-Thursday night I am usually headed to babysit and these lovely people do not have weight problems, but there is temptation everywhere! Freshly baked cookies on the counter with their lingering delicious wafts of yumminess tickling my nose and making me salivate. I try to not notice, but how do you do that? That's like sending a junkie into a crackhouse with a wad of Benji's in his hand. Too flippin' difficult! -And that is just one instance of the kinda food they have there! I know what your thinking, "Poor little girl and her 1st world problems." But it IS a problem, and you can't quit food. We are programmed to respond to it when it smells/looks/tastes so good. I have hyper senses too, so that doesn't help either.
  I do want to end this on a good note, though. I have been enjoying exercise much more that I thought I ever would. Aquacize is a God send and I can't wait to get back into the water once I am not in so much pain from my pinched sciatic nerve issues. Now that I know what is causing the pain, I can start swimming again so that I can feel that hydro-massage of the water as I work up my heart rate and muscles in the pool. 
   Thanks for anyone who has been rooting for me as I make a healthy change in my life. Somewhat slowly, but surely I am shedding the LiBbies and before ya know it, I'll be struttin'. :)

                                                                         

Eeek...Kinda creepy, No? LOL

~Tiffany~

The Macaroni to my cheese.

 Hey there! Like the new digs? I am feeling pretty comfy here myself. I'm super elated that this renovation to my blog was not only pain free, but it was also easy! 
   Okay so here's the topic: It's the holiday that starts with the 22nd letter of the English alphabet, that time of year that most singles try to pretend that doesn't exist(and hide under a  rock for 24 hours) Here's another hint:

V_ L _ _ T _ N _ 'S    D _ Y! 

Need to buy a vowel?  Okay, enough with the puzzles Sajack, of course I am talking about valentine's day, But Vday and I aren't really on speaking terms this year, so it's probably best to leave it as the "Holiday who shall not be named." The only thing I am looking forward to on 2/14/12 is the release of a Jason Mraz single. Yes a CD single, and they do still exist. I like to see that my music is real (and ooooh shiny), and know that I can always pick it up and pop it into my CD player. I don't care if it is 1984 technology, it suits me. I do like Mp3 players for working out and such, but in my car I am still rockin' it retro.
  But back to Cupid day...I know that I have rambled on about my lack of a love life before. My Facebook page has started charging me rent for posting the words "Single" and "Lonely" too many times. The check's in the mail, Zuckerburg. 
   I am really feeling it this year, though. It's been so long since I have been in a real and functioning relationship, that I wonder if I even know how to do that anymore. Did I know what I was doing before? I mean if I did, I probably wouldn't be a 29 year old divorcee' who looks forward to coming home to her spoiled cat every night. I am trying to do the best with my life, but I have never been one to want to push myself on people. The last thing I want to do is come off desperate and needy.(It shows, right?) People have told me to get out there, try new things, go to church....I'm sorry but if I am going to church, there is only One on my mind, and He has already proven his unconditional love to me. That being said, I do want to be with a Christian man and someday raise a Christian family. I know that my best chances of  bumping into to someone like that would be at church or a church affiliated event.
   I have always daydreamed about meeting "The Guy" at a grocery store. Something simple, like we both reach for the same box of mac and cheese and then our fingers accidently touch. He smiles and I blush and then we start a conversation about how we both love the simple, yet yummy entree that is macaroni and cheese. We could live happily ever after just because of this blue-boxed wonder. I know this will probably NOT happen, because if it is crazy enough for it to be a production of my silly daydream, than it more than likely won't be suitable for real life...plus I am watching my carbs right now, so I doubt I will be venturing down the pasta aisle anytime soon.
   Patience has never really been one of my virtues, but c'mon fate, it's been like 6 years since I felt like I was in a mutually loving relationship! That is a loooong time for a hopeless romantic type like me. In fact, because of just how long it has been, I feel like I am losing a bit of that lovin' feeling towards love. I am kind of getting used to flying solo. I certainly do not feel like I did when I was drowning in sap and gushy love mush a few years back. I am either growing out of it a bit, or just growing up. Maybe both.
   I can't complain too much, because besides my dried out wasteland of a love life, I am teeming with blessings in many other areas of my life. Just this week, a friend who I grew up with in school, lost her battle to cancer Tuesday leaving behind a loving husband and two little ones at home. How so truly and deeply tragic. I'm sure the last thing on their minds is Feb.14th. If you have some time in your day, please say a little prayer for this family in Greenwich, I know the Man upstairs will know exactly where to direct it to.
   Well, that's it for this blog. Despite my bleak looking chances at the upcoming Hallmark holiday, I do wish you and yours a wonderful day filled with lots of X's and O's. Thanks for Reading!

Well, Hey there 2012! Let's be friends :)

Hello 2012,
You are going to be my year. You know why? Because I am holding myself accountable for what goes into my body, the amount of exercise it gets and the simple task of ensuring that I stay plenty hydrated. I have been horrible to this body. I have fed it garbage, filled my lungs with toxic clouds of chemicals, riddled myself with worry and anxiety, and have remained stagnant for too long. I didn't do all of this without the consequences of high blood pressure, fatigue, apnea, anxiety attacks and migraines. I am. done. 2012, you are bringing my 30th birthday in August, and I cannot think of a better way to celebrate, than to feel healthier! I am not dreaming of 6 pack abs or buns of steel. I want a heart that pumps healthy amounts of nutrient rich blood to my organs. I want to get up out of bed without my brain feeling like slush. I want to walk around with my head held high and not out of breath. I want what my body deserves, the way God intended for it to function. I know this isn't easy and that last week of 2011 in preparation of this change, took some getting use to. It is very possible and it is a change to last through 2013 and beyond. 
  Now it has been about 2 years since I have kicked the awful habit that is smoking about half a pack per day. That wasn't easy. That was possible, and so is this! Quitting smoking was just one step closer to the new, healthier me. Cold turkey was not easy. In fact, my body felt a bit "shocked" by the absence of those cancerous and addictive additives that make one want to light up on the daily. If I can do that, shaking hands and all, then I can take the responsibility of feeling better very soon! I am late, but I am ready. I love to swim and can't wait to hit up the YMCA again for an hour each day. I may look like a round, butterball turkey in a tight fitting whalesuit, but I don't care! Watch me as I melt off these pounds by working against the resistance of the water! All of that pudge just creates more resistance to battle off the pounds. I have seen what a pound of fat looks like on the outside of the body and it is absolutely barf inducing. Ugh, get off of my stomach, arms, thighs and face! A person was not designed to have multiple chins! God did not create fat facial features on the 7th day! He rested, and that is because He was proud of His hard work. A work that I have taken and stretched beyond the means of what He created. 
   Now, I know that I said that I am not really looking to have washboard abs. This is still true. Right now I have my sights set on feeling human again, not Jabba the Hutt-esque. However if that happens down the road, I suppose I won't mind, although I've never really thought of abs on a woman as very feminine. I just want to be without rolls. I want a flat, sexy middle. I haven't had that since I was a teeny tiny kid! I don't even remember what it feels like, so this will be all new to me.
   I have lost weight before. In fact, after my divorce, I lost upwards of 50 pounds. I grieved it all off though, and just did not want to eat. This was NOT the healthy way of doing things, because in 4 years I have gained every pound back. That will be the last time I mention or try to think about that. It is behind me, gone. 
  Speaking of divorce, ever since mine, all I have done basically is serial dating. There really have not been many relationships that have culminated from 2007 and beyond. I know a lot of it has to do with how I take care of my health/body. An outfit is only so cute on a body that is shaped like an engorged apple. Any make up technique or hairstyle can be only as cute as the face it sets on. I am sorry if I may tick some people off, but it is true. Adding fat to your body, does not make it pretty! It makes it unhealthy and bloated and look uncomfortable. Have I seen big girls who are pretty and confident? well, kinda. Pretty? yes. However, that "confidence" always seems to be loud and obnoxious. She seems to "demand" people to look at her with acceptance.  I prefer a confidence that doesn't need to be said. I want a confidence in being able to walk into a room and not have to say a thing. I want to know that how I look is just the display of what is really inside of me. Let me tell you, what is inside of me, is being poorly represented by my outside. The Lord blessed me with a big heart, a pretty sharp mind, and knack for creativity. Even as a big girl, I still have those traits, but so many times I have hidden them because I want to hide myself. I know that I do not find that attractive, so why would any guy? Not anymore, 2012! You are the start of so many wonderful things that will just be the result of feeling better! 
   I am thinking about starting a weekly vlog (video blog) about my adventure. I think I am going to wear the same shirt(washed in between of course...lol) and show a time lapse, if you will, of how I am getting healthier. I also want to throw in some tips and tricks of what is working for me. Does this sound like something people may respond to? If you think so, leave me a comment. Vlog or no vlog, I will be getting healthier in 2012, just you wait! Thanks for reading!


                                                                   ~Tiffany~
                                                                    (Oh and Bailey, too!)