Well, Hey there 2012! Let's be friends :)

Hello 2012,
You are going to be my year. You know why? Because I am holding myself accountable for what goes into my body, the amount of exercise it gets and the simple task of ensuring that I stay plenty hydrated. I have been horrible to this body. I have fed it garbage, filled my lungs with toxic clouds of chemicals, riddled myself with worry and anxiety, and have remained stagnant for too long. I didn't do all of this without the consequences of high blood pressure, fatigue, apnea, anxiety attacks and migraines. I am. done. 2012, you are bringing my 30th birthday in August, and I cannot think of a better way to celebrate, than to feel healthier! I am not dreaming of 6 pack abs or buns of steel. I want a heart that pumps healthy amounts of nutrient rich blood to my organs. I want to get up out of bed without my brain feeling like slush. I want to walk around with my head held high and not out of breath. I want what my body deserves, the way God intended for it to function. I know this isn't easy and that last week of 2011 in preparation of this change, took some getting use to. It is very possible and it is a change to last through 2013 and beyond. 
  Now it has been about 2 years since I have kicked the awful habit that is smoking about half a pack per day. That wasn't easy. That was possible, and so is this! Quitting smoking was just one step closer to the new, healthier me. Cold turkey was not easy. In fact, my body felt a bit "shocked" by the absence of those cancerous and addictive additives that make one want to light up on the daily. If I can do that, shaking hands and all, then I can take the responsibility of feeling better very soon! I am late, but I am ready. I love to swim and can't wait to hit up the YMCA again for an hour each day. I may look like a round, butterball turkey in a tight fitting whalesuit, but I don't care! Watch me as I melt off these pounds by working against the resistance of the water! All of that pudge just creates more resistance to battle off the pounds. I have seen what a pound of fat looks like on the outside of the body and it is absolutely barf inducing. Ugh, get off of my stomach, arms, thighs and face! A person was not designed to have multiple chins! God did not create fat facial features on the 7th day! He rested, and that is because He was proud of His hard work. A work that I have taken and stretched beyond the means of what He created. 
   Now, I know that I said that I am not really looking to have washboard abs. This is still true. Right now I have my sights set on feeling human again, not Jabba the Hutt-esque. However if that happens down the road, I suppose I won't mind, although I've never really thought of abs on a woman as very feminine. I just want to be without rolls. I want a flat, sexy middle. I haven't had that since I was a teeny tiny kid! I don't even remember what it feels like, so this will be all new to me.
   I have lost weight before. In fact, after my divorce, I lost upwards of 50 pounds. I grieved it all off though, and just did not want to eat. This was NOT the healthy way of doing things, because in 4 years I have gained every pound back. That will be the last time I mention or try to think about that. It is behind me, gone. 
  Speaking of divorce, ever since mine, all I have done basically is serial dating. There really have not been many relationships that have culminated from 2007 and beyond. I know a lot of it has to do with how I take care of my health/body. An outfit is only so cute on a body that is shaped like an engorged apple. Any make up technique or hairstyle can be only as cute as the face it sets on. I am sorry if I may tick some people off, but it is true. Adding fat to your body, does not make it pretty! It makes it unhealthy and bloated and look uncomfortable. Have I seen big girls who are pretty and confident? well, kinda. Pretty? yes. However, that "confidence" always seems to be loud and obnoxious. She seems to "demand" people to look at her with acceptance.  I prefer a confidence that doesn't need to be said. I want a confidence in being able to walk into a room and not have to say a thing. I want to know that how I look is just the display of what is really inside of me. Let me tell you, what is inside of me, is being poorly represented by my outside. The Lord blessed me with a big heart, a pretty sharp mind, and knack for creativity. Even as a big girl, I still have those traits, but so many times I have hidden them because I want to hide myself. I know that I do not find that attractive, so why would any guy? Not anymore, 2012! You are the start of so many wonderful things that will just be the result of feeling better! 
   I am thinking about starting a weekly vlog (video blog) about my adventure. I think I am going to wear the same shirt(washed in between of course...lol) and show a time lapse, if you will, of how I am getting healthier. I also want to throw in some tips and tricks of what is working for me. Does this sound like something people may respond to? If you think so, leave me a comment. Vlog or no vlog, I will be getting healthier in 2012, just you wait! Thanks for reading!


                                                                   ~Tiffany~
                                                                    (Oh and Bailey, too!)